HAVE YOU BOUGHT YOUR CHRISTMAS TREATS - WINK WINK?

HAVE YOU BOUGHT YOUR CHRISTMAS TREATS - WINK WINK?

You often hear people lamenting that we are losing the true spirit and meaning of Christmas. They maintain that we have converted a Christian religious celebration into a crassly commercial holiday. We focus on Santa Claus, excess consumption of food and drink, extravagant gift exchanges, and other meaningless activities. Thankfully, our local and federal governments have provided us with the opportunity to return to the treasured practices of earlier times. They have happily cooperated to help market two of my fondest memories - the Advent calendar and the Christmas stocking. Only, with a slight modification to each!

The tradition of Advent calendars dates to the mid-19th century when German Protestants made chalk marks on doors or lit candles to count the days leading up to Christmas. Today, we mark the march towards Christmas day with little calendars which include paper doors that open to reveal an image, Bible verse, or piece of chocolate. Who cannot remember the anticipation of opening one door each day of Advent to extract the yummy little chocolate? Well brace yourself, you can now purchase Advent calendars that contain marijuana edibles hidden behind each of the little doors. And you can thank your federal government and local distributors for this enhanced opportunity for a more meaningful Christmas.

One distributor advertises, “Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house everyone was smoking, even the mouse. Enjoy this adult version of the classic Christmas advent calendar filled with cannabis products. Each day there will be something new to try.” And the best part is, depending on your choices of contents, the cannabis Advent calendar will cost only between $60 and $480.

If you prefer, you can also purchase filled red Christmas stockings to hang on your fireplace mantle for the sale price of only $99.99. Unlike the stockings of our youth which contained a mandarin orange, a chocolate bar, a candy cane, and a handful of nuts, today’s stockings provide a much more stimulating kind of candy - again, marijuana edibles. Who said we aren’t making progress in enhancing the spirit of Christmas?

Some of the contents in one commercial stocking include:
1 x 75mg THC Dark Peppermint Cup
1 x 30mg THC Snowflake Cookie
1 x 30mg THC Gingerbread Boy
2 x 75mg THC Grint Mint Christmas Cookie
1 x 200mg THC Butter Tart
1 x 10-15mg THC Rice Crispy Snowball
2 x 25mg THC Christmas Pretzels
1 x 5-10mg THC Peanut Butter Shit Ball
1 x 10mg THC Assorted Flavour Shatter Candy
1 x 10mg  Sweet & Sour Gummy Candy
6 x 10mg THC Grinch Mints Chocolate

But our provincial government, in its kind and generous fashion, realizes that not everyone is, or wants to be, a consumer of ordinary or edible cannabis. In the true spirit of Christian charity and compassion, our Alberta government will now allow liquor stores and bars, as well as cannabis outlets, to be open on Christmas Day! Now that is what I call real progress! On the way home from church, you can have a Christmas cocktail at a neighbourhood pub before stopping in at the cannabis shop for a “special cookie” and then sharing Christmas dinner with the family.

I can hardly wait for the next commercial intrusion into our Christmas celebrations and can only speculate what is still to come. Can a Mega Black CHRISTMAS DAY Super Holiday 24 Hour Sale be far away?