DO YOU WANT TO INCREASE CHURCH ATTENDANCE?
Church attendance around the Christian world has been in decline for decades. Twenty percent of Canadians attended religious services weekly in 2007, but by 2013, that number had dropped to 13 percent, and 2.5 million fewer Canadians were at public worship in any given week. It is even lower in 2019. Fortunately, a religious marketing genius in England has started to address the problem and introduced the first really new initiative to increase church attendance in years.
In Rochester Cathedral, founded in 604 AD, church officials have installed a nine-hole mini-putt golf course in the medieval nave of the church. Officials said the idea was to attract more visitors. “We hope that when people come in, they will know that they’re welcome and they will have an enjoyable experience,” a spokesman stated. “So while people are here, having fun and playing crazy golf, they will take the opportunity to reflect on that wider theme of building bridges, that they might find that they would like to pray or light a candle. Maybe talk to somebody.” What a novel idea!
If the mini-golf concept catches on, I have an endless list of other creative ideas to increase church attendance, especially for families. I think a small petting zoo, either within the church or nearby, would be a big draw. No kid can resist the lure of face painting, and coloured helium-filled balloons are a guaranteed hit. Pop music should emanate from the church to develop a feeling of joy and celebration. Popcorn and cotton candy vendors would add a carnival-like atmosphere. Let’s introduce the same attractions at church that make other community events a success!
In order to make church attendance more enjoyable and comfortable, there are a plethora of re-decorating ideas that would help. Why not replace the traditional hard wooden benches with comfortable sofas and reclining arm chairs? Kneelers should be thrown out altogether and soft cushions made available if necessary. If the service is slow and the sermon too boring, several large screen TVs around the church could telecast movies such as The Ten Commandments or Ben Hur! Individual headsets and remote controls could allow all parishioners to tailor make their worship experience.
Following the service, rather than the traditional coffee and cookies social, a more adult option might be available. A cash bar with assorted local wines and mixed drinks, a few cheese platters and some cold cuts could prove popular.
If you want people to enjoy an event, and come back for more next week, food and drink, entertainment and comfortable surroundings are the first step. Before you know it church attendance will soar and seating will be limited. If all goes well, churches will be forced to sell tickets and offer additional services. We may even have to build more churches! But then, I guess I am getting a little ahead of myself. Let's wait and see how the petting zoo works out first!
Thursday, August 29, 2019
Tuesday, August 27, 2019
ARE STAMPEDE CHUCKWAGON RACES DOOMED?
ARE STAMPEDE CHUCKWAGON RACES DOOMED?
The hallmark event of the Calgary Stampede for over 100 years has been the nightly chuckwagon races where teams of horses pull old fashion chuckwagons around a race track at breakneck speeds. With six horses forced to be put down after being injured during this year’s races, the event is probably on the verge of cancellation. Continual objections to the mistreatment of these animals by animal activists will in all likelihood spell the imminent end to the event. Will the Stampede be able to survive?
A fight to prevent the cancellation of the races as we know them will be unsuccessful. Using horses in these famous races will be eliminated. Anyone who believes that the unrelenting protests of animal rights activists can be overcome, hasn’t been paying attention! So, we are going to have to come up with a some variation of the current event and creative minds (mine) are working on the problem.
Perhaps it is time to combine the popularity of the chuckwagon race with the ever growing personal fitness movement. A team of six or eight athletic men or women could replace the teams of horses and still provide for an exciting race alternative. It would also be comforting to know that if any of the human runners were injured during the event, they would not be in any danger of being put down.
Some ranching and cowboy oriented fans of the event might feel that the “human-horse” loses some of the western flavour. They might support the chuckwagons being pulled by farm tractors or some super virile F250S Super truck instead.
Other groups might advocate for some different vehicles as the source of power for the races. How about a team of four or six Harley Davidson choppers pulling the wagon accompanied by the thrilling roars and throbs of the big bikes? Or perhaps a group of ATVs might provide the power. If this option caught on, the chuckwagon races could also be conducted in the winter if we were to use snowmobiles, screaming down a snow covered track. I’m getting excited already!
I have saved my best idea for last. We simply need to adopt the most up to date driving technology to address the problem. We need to develop a self driving chuckwagon, that will eliminate the possibility of harming any human or animal and let the self driving wagons compete! It would look like a giant model car race but could be enhanced with streams of smoke or tongues of fire issuing from the tailpipes of the vehicles. Carousel type horse could be attached to the front of the wagon to appear as if real horses were pulling the wagon. The possibilities are endless once you turn your mind loose!
If my brilliant idea catches on, I am sure there will be an appeal to replacing the animals in the calf roping, steer wrestling and bull riding in the near future! I will be working on that issue soon! Stay tuned.
The hallmark event of the Calgary Stampede for over 100 years has been the nightly chuckwagon races where teams of horses pull old fashion chuckwagons around a race track at breakneck speeds. With six horses forced to be put down after being injured during this year’s races, the event is probably on the verge of cancellation. Continual objections to the mistreatment of these animals by animal activists will in all likelihood spell the imminent end to the event. Will the Stampede be able to survive?
A fight to prevent the cancellation of the races as we know them will be unsuccessful. Using horses in these famous races will be eliminated. Anyone who believes that the unrelenting protests of animal rights activists can be overcome, hasn’t been paying attention! So, we are going to have to come up with a some variation of the current event and creative minds (mine) are working on the problem.
Perhaps it is time to combine the popularity of the chuckwagon race with the ever growing personal fitness movement. A team of six or eight athletic men or women could replace the teams of horses and still provide for an exciting race alternative. It would also be comforting to know that if any of the human runners were injured during the event, they would not be in any danger of being put down.
Some ranching and cowboy oriented fans of the event might feel that the “human-horse” loses some of the western flavour. They might support the chuckwagons being pulled by farm tractors or some super virile F250S Super truck instead.
Other groups might advocate for some different vehicles as the source of power for the races. How about a team of four or six Harley Davidson choppers pulling the wagon accompanied by the thrilling roars and throbs of the big bikes? Or perhaps a group of ATVs might provide the power. If this option caught on, the chuckwagon races could also be conducted in the winter if we were to use snowmobiles, screaming down a snow covered track. I’m getting excited already!
I have saved my best idea for last. We simply need to adopt the most up to date driving technology to address the problem. We need to develop a self driving chuckwagon, that will eliminate the possibility of harming any human or animal and let the self driving wagons compete! It would look like a giant model car race but could be enhanced with streams of smoke or tongues of fire issuing from the tailpipes of the vehicles. Carousel type horse could be attached to the front of the wagon to appear as if real horses were pulling the wagon. The possibilities are endless once you turn your mind loose!
If my brilliant idea catches on, I am sure there will be an appeal to replacing the animals in the calf roping, steer wrestling and bull riding in the near future! I will be working on that issue soon! Stay tuned.
Sunday, August 25, 2019
IS DONALD TRUMP A GENIUS OR A BUFFOON?
IS DONALD TRUMP A GENIUS OR A BUFFOON?
As much as I have been tempted at times to write about Donald Trump I have resisted the urge. Until today! This blog is not about the individual who has divided the US into two very diverse political camps, but about the hidden genius that no one has yet uncovered. Until today! I have finally figured out what makes Trump tick and how he is amassing the largest fortune in the history of mankind.
Trump has worked very carefully on creating an image of a bigoted, racist, egocentric, uncaring, blowhard liar! He has created the media persona of an incompetent and bumbling cartoon character. The giant Baby Trump balloon that often appears at events where Trump is present, deflects everyone from the sly cunning individual who is now President of the USA. He has developed the image of someone who is a buffoon and cannot be taken seriously. Boy, has he fooled everyone!
Trump is quietly accumulating more wealth than Gates or Buffet combined. Let me explain how he has and is continuing to do it. A gambler can either play casino games or invest in the stock market to try to strike it rich. Trump is not interested in counting cards to get an edge at Blackjack (he has trouble counting) nor learning how to play Texas Hold’em Poker (small hands)! Instead, he has developed the best inside trader scheme to manipulate the stock markets of the world and no one has yet caught on. (Except me)
Trump has learned that the stock market goes up and down in an irregular fashion daily around the world. If you invest money when stocks are high you lose, and if you invest when the market is low and then rises, you can make some serious money. That truth is universal and Trumpy knows it. And whether by accident, or the close counsel of a friend or group of friends (possibly Saudis?), Trump has learned that he can make the US stock market rise and fall at his command.
In the middle of the night when he is playing Tweet, Tweet, What Shall I Tweet, he decides to have a little fun. Today I am going to tweet that I am going to impose a tariff on imported Canadian aluminum and dairy products. Next morning at the opening bell of the TSE, shares in Canadian aluminum and dairy companies plummet. Canadians tear out their hair as the stocks drop in value, while Trump quietly buys millions of dollars of the depressed stocks. Three days later, he tweets that he will not impose the tariff for six months, causing the stocks to redeem much of their lost value. Guess who just made a lot of money?
If this little tweeting game can cause Canada to quiver, just think what would happen if he were to impose a 30% tariff on all of the billions of dollars of goods imported from China. The frenzy of sellers on the Chinese exchange would provide a rich dude like Trumpy with an opportunity to again buy low and sell high, when he reduces his threat to only a !0% tariff. His opinions, threats and tweets are capable of effecting every market in any country.
Trump owns the stock markets of the world with his manipulative tweets and insider knowledge! Think about it for a minute. Is he capable of this master plan or is it just accidental? If he is really playing games with global stock markets, he is a warped genius. If he is unaware of his power, he is truly a buffoon. What do you think? Is he the Clown Prince of Incompetent Politicians or the Architect of Global Anarchy?
As much as I have been tempted at times to write about Donald Trump I have resisted the urge. Until today! This blog is not about the individual who has divided the US into two very diverse political camps, but about the hidden genius that no one has yet uncovered. Until today! I have finally figured out what makes Trump tick and how he is amassing the largest fortune in the history of mankind.
Trump has worked very carefully on creating an image of a bigoted, racist, egocentric, uncaring, blowhard liar! He has created the media persona of an incompetent and bumbling cartoon character. The giant Baby Trump balloon that often appears at events where Trump is present, deflects everyone from the sly cunning individual who is now President of the USA. He has developed the image of someone who is a buffoon and cannot be taken seriously. Boy, has he fooled everyone!
Trump is quietly accumulating more wealth than Gates or Buffet combined. Let me explain how he has and is continuing to do it. A gambler can either play casino games or invest in the stock market to try to strike it rich. Trump is not interested in counting cards to get an edge at Blackjack (he has trouble counting) nor learning how to play Texas Hold’em Poker (small hands)! Instead, he has developed the best inside trader scheme to manipulate the stock markets of the world and no one has yet caught on. (Except me)
Trump has learned that the stock market goes up and down in an irregular fashion daily around the world. If you invest money when stocks are high you lose, and if you invest when the market is low and then rises, you can make some serious money. That truth is universal and Trumpy knows it. And whether by accident, or the close counsel of a friend or group of friends (possibly Saudis?), Trump has learned that he can make the US stock market rise and fall at his command.
In the middle of the night when he is playing Tweet, Tweet, What Shall I Tweet, he decides to have a little fun. Today I am going to tweet that I am going to impose a tariff on imported Canadian aluminum and dairy products. Next morning at the opening bell of the TSE, shares in Canadian aluminum and dairy companies plummet. Canadians tear out their hair as the stocks drop in value, while Trump quietly buys millions of dollars of the depressed stocks. Three days later, he tweets that he will not impose the tariff for six months, causing the stocks to redeem much of their lost value. Guess who just made a lot of money?
If this little tweeting game can cause Canada to quiver, just think what would happen if he were to impose a 30% tariff on all of the billions of dollars of goods imported from China. The frenzy of sellers on the Chinese exchange would provide a rich dude like Trumpy with an opportunity to again buy low and sell high, when he reduces his threat to only a !0% tariff. His opinions, threats and tweets are capable of effecting every market in any country.
Trump owns the stock markets of the world with his manipulative tweets and insider knowledge! Think about it for a minute. Is he capable of this master plan or is it just accidental? If he is really playing games with global stock markets, he is a warped genius. If he is unaware of his power, he is truly a buffoon. What do you think? Is he the Clown Prince of Incompetent Politicians or the Architect of Global Anarchy?
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