DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR AIRLINE TAXES REALLY BUY?

DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR AIRLINE TAXES REALLY BUY?

I have decided to make my New Year’s Resolution today and not wait until January 1st. Starting immediately, I am going to be nothing but positive and look on the sunny side of everything I encounter. For example, I was just perusing my latest airline ticket cost and the accompanying taxes. Before today, I would have been ranting, stomping my feet and complaining bitterly over the ridiculous fees and taxes. Instead, I am just going to explain to you how valuable and essential these extra little donations really are!

My quoted fare was $287.29 for a return flight from Calgary to San Diego. I was delighted with the price. The few additional fees and taxes were as follows:

An Air Travellers Security Charge of $12.10 was added. Now how could I complain about that minimal fee to ensure my security while in the air? I thought it was a wonderful bargain.

A Goods and Services Tax of $14.97 seemed only fair considering the wonderful service that we have always received when we fly. It didn’t specify what the GST was related to, but you can be sure that tiny gourmet packets of pretzels or cookies do not grow on trees.

A $30.00 Airport Improvement Fee is just my small contribution to help keep our local airport modern and up-to-date. With 16 million passengers passing through annually this modest $48 million bonanza should provide us with the swankiest airport in the world!

Oh, I almost forgot the $1.50 GST on the Improvement Fee so that our federal government can also get their small portion of the local enhancement charade.

Given the legendary good nature of Canadians, I was more than happy to pay the $49.26 International Transportation Tax. Anything to help out our international friends around the world. I am not sure how it works, but I think it is a jolly nice thing to do.

I was also delighted to pay the $7.80 Customs User Fee. I would feel like I was taking advantage of our custom’s officials if I did not tip them for the wonderful job they do keeping us honest, paranoid, and sweating every time we make a custom’s declaration.

I am not sure if I have ever used an immigrant, but the $9.27 Immigration User Fee is probably a bargain. I don’t now if immigrants need to pay a Resident User Fee, but I am sure it all balances out in the end.

When I first read that I paid a $5.24 APHIS Fee, I misread it to be an Aphid Fee. How silly of me! Then I looked it up and found out I was right (slightly) the first time. APHIS is the Animal and Plant Health Inspection Service that makes sure no bugs or fleas or aphids, I guess, sneak their way into our out of our country. Who knew?

The September 11th Security Fee of $7.42 is certainly a mystery, but I am assuming that calling it the Rudy Giuliani for President (of Ukraine) Fund would probably be considered political patronage and we certainly wouldn’t want to get into that debate.

Lastly, the $5.96 Passenger Facility Charge is well worth it. When you need to use the facilities in the airport it is nice to know that we do not need to have a pocket full of quarters to unlock a toilet stall door or secure adequate toilet paper when needed.

The additional $143.52 fees and taxes brought my final fare to $430.81. In times past, I would have probably been irate for all of the nickel and dime extra costs. Since I made my new resolution, I am completely delighted to pay a small fee for our security staff, our custom’s Gestapo, the flea and bug detectives, the new immigrants, a little help for Rudy and the peace of mind knowing that I can go to the men’s room without any fear of being locked out or paperless.

Life is grand when you adopt a new positive outlook!