HOW ABOUT A “MEXICAN GOING TO THE MOVIES” EXPERIENCE?

HOW ABOUT A “MEXICAN GOING TO THE MOVIES” EXPERIENCE?

Today, we went to the movies in Mazatlan. We have gone several times before and it has been a pleasant experience in a nice new movie theater with all of the modern amenities of our theatres back in Canada. Well, today was a little bit different than previously.

I stood in the line to buy the tickets and Darlene stood in a different line to buy popcorn and drinks. In the ticket line, there were about 25 people ahead of me, and as I waited, another 25 ended up behind me. There were no self-serve ticket machines or computer ticket purchases made at home, so the ticket line was the only option. There were eight ticket wickets and wouldn’t you know it, only one of them was open for business. I guess the manager did not see the need for any additional help as people just needed to learn patience.

My line moved very slowly and I didn’t think we would get in before the movie started at 3:10. Now, high above the ticket wickets are the listings of all of the movies and their showtimes. It is not an electronic menu but one that has been assembled by hand with individual plastic letters placed between two tracks by an employee. Then out of the blue, as I waited, one of the staff dragged out a ten-foot aluminum stepladder and stood it up between the ticket seller and the line of customers. No real safety concern I guess. Besides learning patience, the moviegoers were encouraged to practice care and caution.

The staff member climbed the stepladder and added one letter to the end of one of the words in a movie title. Quite satisfied with his diligent correction of a misspelled word, he clambered down the ladder, folded it up, without maiming anyone, and took the ladder away. If you might be suspecting that he would now rush to help the overworked clerk in window one and start selling tickets at another wicket, you were wrong. He had completed his job and I never saw him again. He was obviously a specialist!

After about twenty minutes of waiting and watching I was nearing the lone ticket seller. When you buy a ticket at this theatre you must also pick out the seat you want to sit in. For some people, this requires considerable time as they are very meticulous and incredibly slow. Finally, I reached the seller. I am sure my elation was similar to Neil Armstrong’s when he finally placed his foot on the moon. It was a long and dangerous trip for both of us, but it was worth it. I used my best Spanish while looking at the movie poster on the wall, to tell the girl the movie I wanted to see and I ordered four tickets. Fortunately for me, she was bilingual and my fractured Spanish only threw her for a second, before she told me, “The 3:10 movie is in Spanish. If you want the English version, you need to go to the 4:20 feature.” After waiting in line as long as I had, I gave her the thumbs up for four tickets and paid the ridiculous sum of $10 Canadian.

The girl gave me my change and then she hit a button on her till and I felt as though I had just broken the bank at Monte Carlo! Her machine spit out twelve long pieces of adding-machine-like paper and with my fistful of paper, I headed over to the concession stand to see if Darlene had been as successful as I. She was delighted when I showed her the four tickets to the movie, four tickets for a snack two-for-one special, four two-for-one next time movie offers and four receipts for the entire event. I had more paper in my hand than if I had pulled out an entire roll of toilet paper.

We made the 4:20 movie, complete with not just a box of popcorn, but a box of “caramel corn” instead, and a couple of large bottles of water. Sadly, the Mexicans have learned that concession stand prices should be more expensive than the price of the tickets, so Darlene paid more than I had. Two hours later, we left with two stomachs sloshing caramel corn soup and headed home. And the movie was lousy to boot!

PS Don’t go see The Call of the Wild with Harrison Ford unless you are under ten years old!