ARE YOU A SEASONED OR A NOVICE TRAVELER?

ARE YOU A SEASONED OR A NOVICE TRAVELER?

Some people should not be allowed out-of-doors without a parent or responsible person to see that they don’t hurt themselves. I recently wrote that I felt that the world’s biggest problems today are the many viruses that threaten us in increasing numbers. My friend, Peter, disagrees and thinks the greatest threat to our survival is stupid people. I think that I am beginning to lean toward and support his views.

In Mazatlan, there is a helpful Facebook page that tries to answer questions from visitors that are coming for a holiday. I am often tempted to comment after their asinine questions, “Please stay home, you are going to hurt yourself if you come here or you may get lost and never be found again.” If you are going to travel to a new destination “DO YOUR HOMEWORK!” It has never been easier to find out any information that you need to know about any destination you choose to explore. Google was specifically invented for old geezers like me to learn about where to vacation, how to get there, where to stay, where to eat and endless options for sightseeing or exploring.

Stupid Facebook questions that have skipped by me this week include:
What is the temperature going to be in February?
Is there a bus that will take me downtown?
Can you recommend a good restaurant?
Can you tell me where I can buy some nice souvenirs?
Where can I meet new people? I am here by myself? (I really wanted to let this young lady know that she could find a lot of really friendly people at a topless bar, inhabited by pot-smoking junkies, near the beach who are always looking for naive young girls such as yourself) I fought off the urge to do so, probably to her detriment!

The tiniest bit of research would have answered all of these questions and more. If you haven’t learned this, don’t leave your own back yard!

The absolute lack of any travel sense that some people have is scary. They should all be required to wear T-shirts with slogans such as, “I’m a first-timer in Mazatlan” or “I’m as dumb as I look” or “Never been away from home before.” Even without the T-shirt, however, they are recognizable by their pink sunburns, wearing shorts with long socks in sandals wardrobe or carrying a beer in a brown paper bag down the street with that “Oh so cool” look on their face. The only place they wouldn’t be pegged as a novice tourist would be if they arrived during a solar eclipse and didn’t leave their room until they flew back home!

At the other end of the stupid tourist spectrum, I need to identify one amazing traveler that I know. My other friend, Jack, is an 80-plus-year-old gentleman who spends five or six months in Thailand during the winter. His travel stamina and acumen are unchallenged. He doesn’t buy the safe travel packages that I have resorted to when I explored Thailand, Cambodia, and Vietnam. Jack does all of his own research on travel destinations, sites to visit and then charts his own course using Google, local buses and boats, and plots his route like a modern-day Marco Polo. No destination is too daunting and he doesn’t agonize over where he will stay along the way or what he will eat. If he wants to take a little jaunt over to Laos or China, he does his homework and goes. He loves to identify unique Buddhist temples, whether tethered to a mountaintop or hidden in an obscure valley town that even the locals aren’t familiar with. And he goes to visit them. I just wanted to tip my hat to this good friend and unparalleled “senior” explorer.

So, youngsters (under 50), unless you can be a self-sufficient traveler like my friend Jack, please stay home and just watch travel television! Keep your stupid questions to yourself and stay out of our way!