HOW HARD CAN IT BE TO GO OUT FOR LUNCH?

HOW HARD CAN IT BE TO GO OUT FOR LUNCH?

Once upon a time, I used to think that going out for lunch was a really simple event. Who wouldn’t want to dine luxuriously on a hamburger with fries and probably a milkshake? That was the ultimate lunch of choice when I was a youth. But that was during the last century. Today, going out for lunch requires finally tuned decision making skills, the ability to decipher menu offerings from foreign countries and a carefully cultivated palate.

Our nearest food court in a mall, hosts about twenty different food outlets. The majority of them offer ethnic food selections from countries such as China, Lebanon, Viet Nam, Thailand, Japan, Mexico, Greece and Italy. You need to know that a kiosk offering KFC is not from Kentucky, but rather is selling Korean Fried Chicken.

Are you versed in the taste temptations of chicken or falafel shawarmas? Have you enjoyed Pad Thai noodles or Vietnamese Pho Soup? Are you a connoisseur of the five types of sushi: nigiri, sashimi, maki, uramaki and temaki? Do you know the difference between a taco, a burrito and a chimichanga? Do you prefer a shish kebab or a doner kebab? It’s hard to select a simple luncheon meal from exotic food outlets when you are just a plain old down-to-earth country boy from Drumheller.

For this latter luncheon audience, there are still a few options that do not require gourmet tastes and palates, but they can also be a challenge. If you want to order a hamburger you need to know there is a big push on these days for a “Beyond Beef” burger that is made from plant sources. Even if you want just a basic sandwich, you have to be knowledgeable about the variety of condiments possible : aioli, honey or dijon mustard, alfalfa or bean sprouts, on whole wheat, sour dough or multigrain bread, with lettuce, onions, jalapenos, tzatziki sauce, siriacha sauce, chipotle sauce or just plain ketchup. In the good old days, a sandwich comprised a slice of ham between two slices of white bread smeared with plain old yellow mustard. Apparently, the times have changed!

Of course you can take some consolation in knowing that a pizza is always a pizza! Some baked dough covered in tomato sauce, with lots of cheese and some sliced pepperoni. A lunch fit for a king! Yesterday, I received a flyer in the mail informing me that I am way behind the times again. The Super Pizza Company in the food court  was trying to lure me with a Super Plant Pizza featuring NEW Plant-based Pepperoni and Plant-based Spicy Sausage Crumble! I could hardly keep the saliva from drooling onto my shirt. Then they kicked their promotion up to a whole new tantalizing level. I could order my pizza with a cauliflower crust containing two servings of vegetables that made the pizza gluten-free and vegan. Well, Yahoo!

If I try, I can find a place that will still  serve me a hamburger, fries and a shake like I enjoyed as a kid. Sort of. I just need to decide if I want one, two or three patties, beef or beyond beef, with regular or curly  or sweet potato fries, with or without gravy, on the fries or on the side, and then select from 26 milk shake flavours!

Like I said, it can be hard work to go out for lunch! Despite the challenges, I would just like my Calgary friends to know that I am available to share my luncheon knowledge with them, any time they would like to meet for lunch!